I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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