Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
