hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
