Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
