Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
