On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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