Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my mouth tastes like poor choices
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think my moral compass just broke
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
