my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize
