So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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