**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
honey bunches of taint.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
