I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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