How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Randomize
