overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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