do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
