Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
