i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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