everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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