Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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