talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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