he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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