i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize