So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
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I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
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I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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