obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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