I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
