I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
