I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
