oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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