I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
