Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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