4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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