Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
