her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
