i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize