By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
