; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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