I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
