Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so let's talk penis.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
