Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Buhtt sex?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
