I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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