Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
