I just saw a hot homeless man
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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