He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
