I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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