I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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