these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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