i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
