Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
