My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
