After last night, I could never be a politician.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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