Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
