you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
