God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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