Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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