Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
