he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
