Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
