Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
