Christians are straight up FREAKS
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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