Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
