Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.

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(518): I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw. http://tfl.nu/ptpv

Replies (36) Good night (1506) Bad night (1615)
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(206): View more from Washington

Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?

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(206): Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug? http://tfl.nu/56z8

Replies (45) Good night (5852) Bad night (966)
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(314): View more from Missouri

no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.

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(314): no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive. http://tfl.nu/qwvv

Replies (19) Good night (6968) Bad night (784)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.

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(617): we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life. http://tfl.nu/dy8h

Replies (17) Good night (5327) Bad night (802)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.

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(973): we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle. http://tfl.nu/il9h

Replies (33) Good night (8234) Bad night (1566)
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(551): View more from New Jersey

i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me

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(551): i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me http://tfl.nu/tacv

Replies (12) Good night (1383) Bad night (3374)
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(520): View more from Arizona

while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.

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(520): while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE. http://tfl.nu/b4l7

Replies (25) Good night (4395) Bad night (1344)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid

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(203): i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid http://tfl.nu/ekmu

Replies (4) Good night (1561) Bad night (912)
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(516): View more from New York

my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing

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(516): my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing http://tfl.nu/sqvp

Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (1428)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.

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(541): I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar. http://tfl.nu/9erd

Replies (4) Good night (2139) Bad night (614)
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(214): View more from Texas

I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw

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(214): I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw http://tfl.nu/sktq

Replies (5) Good night (1196) Bad night (1186)
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(310): View more from California

What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.

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(310): What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast. http://tfl.nu/jj68

Replies (3) Good night (1852) Bad night (693)
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(631): View more from New York

She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it

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(631): She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it http://tfl.nu/e6sn

Replies (11) Good night (511) Bad night (1633)
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(248): View more from Michigan

We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?

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(248): We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ? http://tfl.nu/vd2y

Replies (1) Good night (862) Bad night (396)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.

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(304): Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about. http://tfl.nu/t5bz

Replies (3) Good night (965) Bad night (381)

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