I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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