omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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