NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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