i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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