halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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