I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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