The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
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Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
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Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?